#BEYOUROWN MEETS AMBER ROCHELLE
Amber Rochelle is an intuitive life coach and expert on sensitivity. She is devoted to helping highly sensitive women thrive in an often insensitive world. She works with women who struggle with constant anxiety, who’ve been told their whole lives that they were “too sensitive” and “too emotional,” helping them to manage their sensitivity so they can feel safe in this world and finally feel confident in who they are. Known as “The Sensitive Badass®”, Amber’s mission is to change the narrative in our culture around the word “sensitive” and to lead sensitive souls to a place of empowerment. She believes that sensitivity is a superpower if you choose to treat it as one and that this world desperately needs the healing powers that sensitives have to offer.
Hey Amber, how is your day so far?
Wonderful! Thank you.
You are a life coach and mentor, can you tell us what a typical 24 hours for you like?
I make a point to incorporate as much balance and self-care in my daily routine as possible. This typically looks like getting up and diving right into grounding exercises to set my day off on the right foot. I make my coffee or tea, feed my kitties and then spend 20 minutes or so meditating, journaling, stretching and pulling oracle cards. After having my daily smoothie I then prioritise my to-dos for the day.
These usually consist of seeing coaching clients, writing content, answering emails, and planning for any upcoming classes or programs I am hosting or producing. I take mini-breaks throughout the day to centre and just breathe. In the evenings I usually do a workout, cook a healthy dinner, and then spend some quality time with my fiancé, before settling into reading and/or take a bath.
Can you take us through the process of launching your career in this field?
I’ve always had a desire to heal and serve, so in 2013 I finally went through 6-months of intensive life coach training. After graduating, I coached pro bono for a while to get my confidence up. I quickly realised that to grow a sustainable practice as a life coach and mentor, it wasn’t just about seeing clients.
It was also a bit of a boot camp in marketing, writing, connection, and social media skills. Once I got through the initial learning curve there, my practice began to pick up. I’ve found that both through forming a strong niche and being authentic and vulnerable with my own story and journey, I’ve been able to attract the women who truly need my kind of work. The most important things for me are telling the truth, showing up consistently, and listening to my intuition on a daily basis.
How and why did this passion start to help other women especially?
I grew up in a very chaotic home and suffered a lot of trauma. I always had a desire to rise above all this and somehow channel it into serving others. I was the 11-year girl with a stack of self-help books next to her bed! In my 20s, I entered a long battle with anorexia and bulimia. It was a direct manifestation of my need at the time to numb out, gain a sense of control, and make up for what I felt was a deep intrinsic “flawed self.”
When I began treatment to recover from my eating disorder, I really had to start from square one. I had to learn how to love myself, to take care of myself, to trust my emotions and experiences, and to let myself heal from my past. Going through this experience taught me so much about healing, growth, and spirituality. I knew then that something had finally clicked. My own process of healing and rising from the ashes had given me the experience, strength, and wisdom to now be a guide to other women in their own journeys home to themselves.
Why do you personally think that women are struggling with their sensitivity?
Highly sensitive empaths make up only 20% of the population. Our brains are literally wired differently than the rest of the world. We take in more information, process it more thoroughly, and feel things intensely. We are prone to emotional overwhelm not only from our own ocean of feelings but from the energy we pick up from those around us. All this sets us up for a myriad of challenges. We often feel different, misunderstood, and exhausted. Many sensitive women are told at a young age that they are too dramatic, too emotional, and just plain too much. The repercussions of this are that we start to believe we are flawed.
We recognised that we don’t fit in and that our capacity to see what is unseen and feel into situations deeply is often not welcome. It’s very common for this to then lead to us sensitives feeling ashamed of our gifts and disconnecting from our intuition, truth, and feelings. As we are invalidated, gaslighted, and ostracised for just being who we are, we begin to believe these criticisms. As a result, many sensitive women struggle with people-pleasing, disconnection from self, perfectionism, low self-esteem, fatigue and difficulty setting boundaries. It is like we are a round peg trying to fit into a square hole and the more we pound on ourselves to fit in, the more we lose our true form.
You are helping women to find re-find themselves, how are you currently promoting this?
I like to talk about it like this: the relationship you have with yourself is just as important (if not more so) than any other relationship you have. Relationships take attention, nurturing, time, and commitment. But for those of us who are very sensitive, our natural state is to be more outward focused.
We are taking in so much information and feeling from the world around us, that it is difficult for us to be grounded and go within. We often don’t trust our own feelings, don’t know what we really want outside of what we think we “should,” and spend a lot of energy trying to belong and feel loved, not to mention care for all those around us. So when I talk about re-finding yourself, or as I like to call it “coming home to your truth,” I am really talking about rebuilding your relationship with yourself from the ground up.
To build these strong roots of self-connection, it takes work on letting go of old stories and limiting beliefs we have long carried that hold us back from seeing who we truly are, letting ourselves dream, and trusting our intuition and own experience of the world. When we can find the way back to that solid connection with our inner guide and our truth, that’s when the magic of being sensitive really starts to flow. Being sensitive is a divine gift, but it is the way that we (and society) interact with it and think about it and our lack of self-care that causes most of the challenges people experience.
What other tools are you using to raise awareness of your services?
I write. A lot. Through telling my truth and standing grounded in my own magic I inspire others to see they can do the same. So a lot of blogging, emailing, and social media posts. I also run a stellar Facebook support group that brings sensitive women together. I do public speaking in my community.
I create free Facebook and Instagram live teaching videos. But at the heart of all of these things is really true, authentic connection. When we feel seen, heard, and understood, we start to feel we belong. That is what I aim to do with my work. Cultivate connection, belonging, and freedom to be ourselves.
You are a mentor, but have you had any mentors? If so can you tell us if it has helped in any way?
Oh yes! So many, I have always been a seeker, at a young age. I’ve attended countless conventions, training, and workshops. I’ve worked with closely with many prominent spiritual advisors and business coaches. It has been profoundly helpful to me in so many ways! At first, it was the inspiration of seeing what was possible.
Then it was learning to clear my own blocks and to heal the trauma that allowed me to get out of my own way. Then it was creating the vision and the dream. I still have a coach I work closely with. Having a witness, someone to walk you through your fears, inspire you, and hold you accountable is truly invaluable.
Can you tell us a real seminal moment for you in your career?
This year, I created and launched my Sensitive Badass® 6 Month Coaching Mentorship. In the past, I took clients on a one on one basis based off of their needs. This was the first time I had done a more structured package that included group and one-on-one services. It was definitely taking things next level in my business, especially in terms of promotion.
I honestly was super nervous about putting myself out there in that way, but it couldn’t have been a more successful, beautiful experience. The women who came in were divine. It really elevated my vision of what I can do with this work moving forward.
What areas are you looking at to continue the growth of your coaching techniques?
I am always reading and continuing to take my own training. Lately, I have been deeply drawn to trauma work and the nervous system. I am looking at getting certified as a somatic experiencing practitioner next.
What is the best advice you have received recently?
That confidence comes after action, not before. and how speaking your truth is the number one thing you can do to feel free and build connection.
Any setbacks you have come across so far?
Absolutely! Starting your own business is freeing, but does not come without its perils. One of the hardest things for me was all the hats I had to wear- admin assistant, tech guru, writer, coach, mentor, healer, business manager, accountant. It was hard for me for a long time to figure out how to manage it all when my attention was pulled in so many different directions. Another challenge I have had to face is self-promotion. At first, I felt icky selling my services. It made me super uncomfortable and so for a while, I just didn’t. And then I, of course, had no clients. When I was promoting the launch of my recent program, a woman on Instagram said that I was money-hungry.
My worst nightmare.
But it turned out to be a beautiful, albeit painful, experience as it really forced me to look at my own beliefs about money and being compensated for healing and spiritual work. I ended up writing a blog about it where I talked about being so-called “money-hungry” vs. “following your dreams hungry,” and “helping the world hungry.” Ultimately, it was a healing thing to go through, and I now promote my work with pride.
Have you at any point throughout your career trajectory had self-doubt?
Of course! Especially in the beginning, there was a lot of wondering who am I to do this work? and wondering why would anyone listen to me. I realised as I left behind a 10-year career in corporate advertising to pursue coaching, that a lot of things I thought I had healed, had risen right back up to smack me in the face. In the corporate world, I could hide. In coaching, being visible is imperative to getting clients. I noticed a lot of old patterns rising to the surface: the self-doubt, perfectionism, and over-working.
How have you overcome that?
The biggest step for me in overcoming it was allowing it first. Instead of beating myself up for beating myself up, and thinking “ugh- aren’t I over this yet?,” I started having compassion for myself instead. Of course, these things were coming back up for me. I was diving into a whole new venture, that while exciting, was also super scary. In looking at these feelings of self-doubt with curiosity and not judgement, they were able to soften. First, I witnessed them. Then I had compassion for them, I looked at where they came from and what they were trying to save me from.
Then I re-framed them. Then I could let them go. But the most important thing is knowing it’s not about what comes up for you, but what you do with it that matters. Everyone struggles with self-doubt and limiting beliefs at some point. But your power lies in your awareness and ability to relate to them differently.
What are the goals you are currently working on, and how are you striving to achieve them?
Well, I’m planning a wedding to the love of my life, so that’s a fun goal to start with! I’m also creating some really amazing new programs to diversify my service offerings so that they can meet the needs of different financial ability, and levels of emotional healing.
This looks like a group program for sensitive entrepreneurs that is launching this Fall, monthly Sensitive Academy classes where I will provide more bite-sized teachings, and the launch of my first digital course. To achieve all these, I really strive for a balance between working hard but also staying very grounded and centred in my intuition. I strive always to combine the practical and the magical in everything I do.
Any tips for us to remember who we truly are?
It starts with spending time with yourself. Listening to the words that you tell yourself. And really being aware of where those thoughts and beliefs are coming from. Asking yourself questions and writing a journal is a great place to start as well. Who do you think you were before the world told you who you were supposed to be? What is the kind of woman you want to be? How do you want to show up in this world? When we sit in silence we can start to connect within to the quiet voice of our intuition and inner guide.
The world is noisy, especially for those of us who are sensitive. It can be tough to hear your truth over the all the chaos, the voice of our inner critic, the feelings and needs of others, all the “shoulds” and roar of our physical environments. When we start to prioritise our relationship with ourselves and give that voice of our truth a safe space to play, she gets louder and we get more connected with her. We begin to come back home to the truth of who we are and more importantly to trust that.
Lastly, what does it mean to you to truly #BEYOUROWN?
It means to show up as your true authentic self in this world. Not doubting your feelings, your intuition, or your inner compass. Doing the work to transform your wounds into your power so you can stand confidently in your own strength. Knowing you are magic and not apologising for who you are. Being your own means creating a life that works for you, instead of trying to shed your own skin to fit into the norms. It means being the woman you want to be, feeling the way you want to feel, and doing what you want to do!