#BEYOUROWN MEETS SHAHRZAD SHUKRA
Shahrzad Shukra is a certified dating and relationship coach and the founder of Fully Adored Company. Shahrzad helps women globally to own their desires when it comes to love and romance, attracting high-quality men, and the healthy partnerships of their dreams.
After many years of struggling with feeling invisible in front of men and only attracting dead-end relationships, Shahrzad finally discovered what it takes to go from an unseen, unheard, and unloved woman, to one who magnetises grand love and high-quality men who want to commit to her. Being now happily married to her amazing husband who makes her feel truly loved and adored, she has made it her mission to help other women to have the most amazing men and love life of their dreams.
Hey Shahrzad, can you introduce yourself to us?
I am a certified love and relationship coach who is obsessed with helping women to attract the relationship of their dreams. I was born and raised in Iran until the age of 14, and then we (our family) moved to Toronto, Canada. I got my Master’s degree in Civil Engineering, and I worked in the industry for 11 years before finding out what my true passion and gifts were. I am now a wife to the most amazing man, and because of his unwavering support and faith in me, now I get to I wake up every day doing what I absolutely love to do and feeling immensely loved in my marriage.
Can you take us through your journey to where you are now?
During my teenage years and early 20s, I felt invisible in front of men. I was always that girl who blended into the walls and no man ever noticed me. No matter how hard I tried to earn a guy’s attention and interest, I always felt unseen. And then I went through a series of dead-end relationships. I thought my feelings of being invisible and lonely would go away when I finally had a boyfriend, but it wasn’t the case. I always felt like I had to work hard to keep their love. So I always walked on eggshells, never expressing what I liked or didn’t like because I was terrified that I would be perceived as too much and they would leave me. So I was always hiding my truth and kept myself invisible for years and years.
Of course, after a while, I would get tired of always acting, and my inauthenticity would lead into the guy not wanting to commit to me. When it happened to me for the third time which was my most painful heartbreak, I remember I went into prayer asking my higher power to show me what was I doing wrong. I had this realisation that there is something that I’m not doing right because the same thing keeps happening to me over and over. And my prayers were answered and a few days later I read my first book on Law of Attraction.
I realised why I was attracting those types of relationships because I was an energetic match for “I’m not good enough, my feelings don’t matter, please don’t leave me” and I kept attracting men who saw me that way. As I dove deeper, receiving help and coaching from world-class experts, my life changed 180. Within 5 months I attracted a completely different man as I followed the teachings and the tools that my coach helped me with. And as I said he is different than all my other relationships, and he has been showering me with devotion and love for the past 5 years. When I saw the transformation in my life and how quickly it happened, it became a non-negotiable for me that I had to help other women do the same. I know how painful it feels to feel unworthy and unlovable, and I know exactly what needs to be done to change all of that to become a magnet to amazing, loving, and supportive men. So that’s where I am now, helping women all around the world so they don’t have to suffer from feeling lonely, unseen, and unloved.
What is a day in the life of you like?
I love this question because I just recently shared with my audience how the most favorite part of my day is waking up to my husband’s kiss just before he leaves for work at 6:15am. I do my morning ritual which is meditation, shower, and journaling. Journaling is an absolute must for me and it helps me to really process my feelings and set an intention for the day. I also count my blessings and express my gratitude while journaling.
Then I have a full schedule with my 1:1 coaching clients, team meetings, and content creation. Since I do intermittent fasting, I only have coffee for breakfast, but for lunch, I make a healthy meal for myself. I take another break late in the afternoon and I go for an hour walk and listen to an empowering podcast episode. When I’m done with work, I prepare dinner and by the time it’s ready my husband gets home. I love the quality time that we spend together, eat dinner, and if a basketball game is on we’ll watch it together – we’re both big Toronto Raptors fans. We go to bed around 10pm and I always read a chapter of a book on femininity or spirituality.
How did you launch Fully Adored?
When I realised how powerful relationship coaching was and that I wanted to be able to coach other women, I received my certification by doing Rori Raye Relationship Certification Training.
Can you talk us through the programs and mentorship packages you offer to your clients?
Currently, I do a limited number of 1 on 1 coaching. It’s a 90-day package where my clients get my absolute full attention and support.
I also provide group coaching 3 times a year where I take my clients from being single and confused, to really believing in their power of manifestation and unapologetically calling in their man and their committed relationships.
I also have a home-study course called the Magnetic Scripts. The reason I created this program is that I personally suffered from not being able to communicate my needs, my desires, or my boundaries in my past relationships. I never knew how to ask for what I wanted without having the man feeling blamed, or him shutting down or getting defensive. So when I figured out how to do it so effectively, in a way that not only my man could hear it, but he would feel inspired and happy to give me what I wanted, everything started to change for me. In this program, I literally help women to create attraction even when the conversation is around feelings of jealousy. It’s my signature program that is in 6 modules and covers scripts from the dating phase, to scripts in committed relationships.
What is the art of scripting?
When we say “scripting” it sounds so mechanical, but it really isn’t. It becomes an art when you masterfully express your emotions in a way that awakens the man’s ability to hear you and actually feel inspired to fulfill your desire. The truth is that it’s in every healthy man’s DNA that he wants to make his woman happy.
As women, we have to know how to ask them for what we want in a way that it doesn’t sound like it’s expected from them and they’re bad or wrong if they don’t do as we want. Same goes for scripting when he’s done something that has caused us to feel upset. How can we express that without making him feel attacked, blamed, and criticised, but still share the experience and have him understand why we don’t want to feel that way again. It’s amazing how different a few words and the energy behind them can make in the results that we are getting from the same man.
How are you helping women to effortlessly uncover their magical feminine power?
Every woman, in fact, every person has both feminine and masculine energies. However, we live in a society that gives so much value based on our accomplishments which are all due to us utilising our masculine energy to get things done.
Masculine energy has done wonders when it comes to our careers as women, but when it comes to romantic relationships, it is still very old school, and women and men are attracted to each other based on the sexual polarity of the energies. So what I help women do is that when they are in front of men, whether they are dating or they are married, to switch from the go-getter energy to the just being energy. When they learn how to tune in to the natural feminine energy that helps them become present and be able to receive from their men, then there is no clashing of the energies. The feminine and the masculine complement each other and that’s when we see harmonious but passionate relationships.
Can you give us 3 tips on anchoring into our goddess feminine energy?
- The number 1 tip that I had to master was practicing my receiving muscle. Understanding men fall in love by giving to us and not the other way around. I was a chronic over-giver and I felt guilty to receive from a man. I felt uncomfortable to be given a gift without reciprocating it as soon as possible. That’s such an attraction killer for a man when he feels that he has to compete with a woman when it comes to who gives more.
- Practice active listening without the need to offer a solution when he talks about a problem. Most of the times we listen so we can say something in return, and we don’t listen just to listen. One of the masculine energy traits is being a problem solver. So when a man shares that he’s going through something, and if we jump into solving his problem (when he hasn’t asked for it) he immediately feels turned off because unintentionally he’s being told that he can’t solve his own problem. So get comfortable with listening without needing to solve his problem, and for a change say: “I hear you, and I know you can overcome this. If there’s anything that I can do to help please let me know”
- Be more in your body and less in your head. If I was to define masculine and feminine energy physically, our neck up is masculine energy, and our neck down is our feminine energy body. Thinking, planning, strategizing are all masculine energy. Feeling, surrendering, flowing are all feminine energy. So when you catch yourself up in your head when you’re with him, take a deep breath and drop into your heart. Relax your shoulders, your belly, your jaws and really give yourself permission to be present in your body. That is one of the quickest ways to shift your energy from masculine to feminine and become super attractive in front of a man. The shift is almost instantaneous and most of the time the man physically starts to lean forward towards you because he finds it so attractive.
Who does the team involve behind you at Fully Adored?
My team, my talented photographer, my coach, and my husband. I receive a tremendous amount of support from my technical team, my ad expert, and my virtual assistant which allows me to do the creative work. My coach’s guidance plays such an important role when it comes to me stepping into the next level both as a woman and as an entrepreneur. And last but not least my husband. If it wasn’t because of him constantly telling me how amazing and capable I am, I don’t know if I would be where I am right now.
Where can you see yourself within the next 3-5 years?
I would definitely have my own podcast (it’s already in the works). I also see myself helping women on bigger platforms and on speaking events. In 5 years, I would have at least 2000 engagements reported from women who are doing the work with me.
What strategies do you have in place when looking at the expansion of Fully Adored?
I plan on doing as many joint ventures as possible. I believe in “if you want to go fast go alone, but if you want to go far go together’”
I am also going to continue to receive coaching and mentorship from top experts. Right now I’m offering group coaching programs on a smaller scale, but next year I’m planning to have both year-long group coaching, and also smaller ones (5-7 weeks) so for women who want to get started but want to start off with a smaller investment, I can make it possible. As I mentioned before, my podcast is in the works, so I’m super excited about that.
Can you tell us what areas you have struggled in professionally?
“Who am I to have all this success so quickly?” was a big mindset struggle that I had. It paralysed me for so long. I am a high achieving woman and I’ve always been one. As a child the better I did in school, the more love and approval I got from my parents, so when I started my business, I was relentless with making it happen And in a matter of 3 months, I had 22 private clients which was amazing, but I felt so guilty about it.
When I saw other women struggling to have one client, the voices would go off in my head “why should you have things work out for you and they don’t? They’re all so amazing and compared to them you’re not more special.” I was able to shut the voices off the majority of the time, but it’s something that I continuously had to work on otherwise it would have really sabotaged my business.
Have you ever had any other mentor? If so how has this benefitted you to grow?
I have had mentors for the last 6 years even before I started my business. They had the biggest impact on my life. The number one benefit that I have gained from it is not the relationship that I have with my husband, it’s actually the relationship that I have with myself.
I had no idea how much I neglected myself and how I was depriving myself of my own love. When that changed, almost everything else started to fall into place. My love life, my friendships, my business, my body. The amount of guidance and support that I’ve received from investing myself has been tremendous in my growth both personally and as an entrepreneur.
What outlets do use to market Fully Adored?
I create content daily and I publish them both on Facebook and on Instagram. I believe in giving value and attracting the right people towards me and so far it’s worked so brilliantly for me. I also do Facebook ads when I’m enrolling for my group coaching program.
Which methods are you using to build your own support network?
I’m part of a group coaching program that my mentor offers and I feel absolutely blessed to be part of a community that is filled with like-minded amazing women who are passionate about serving. The relationships that we have developed are absolutely life-changing and I feel so supported by them.
What do you believe are the common misconceptions about being an entrepreneur?
That it’s easy to be your own boss? It could be easy if you’re not planning to really make it work. But when you become your own boss, you have to act like a boss and you no longer get to play small. You have to show up every single day and give it you’re all.
What would you like to see changed for millennials in business?
Quit wanting instant gratification and be in it for the long run. With everything being so ready and available at our fingertips, we have forgotten what it means to be patient. When you plant a seed, you can’t be frustrated if it’s not giving you crops after a week, and neither will anything meaningful in life. Consistent nurturing and not giving up too soon is what’s going to bring your seed of desire into fruition.
What is the best piece of business advice you have received to date?
Chunk it down! Instead of needing to figure out what I need to do to make 7 figures, I learned to have short-term goals that will lead me towards my bigger goals. It feels WAY less overwhelming to have 3-month goals that you can plan on hitting, as opposed to giving yourself a humongous goal that leaves you feeling paralyzed not knowing what step to take first because it’s so out of reach.
What is the number 1 critical lesson you have learned in your career so far?
Show up every day. Consistency has been the number one reason that I’ve 6 figures in my first year in business, so I’m going to continue doing exactly that: Show up every day.
How do you create an evenly balanced work and personal life?
That’s another amazing lesson that I learned from my coach. I don’t have a to-do list, I schedule everything in my calendar. Even if it’s binging on Facebook, I give myself the time-slot to do whatever is scheduled and I don’t multi-task. If I am working, I’m only working, and if I’m watching basketball with my husband, that means my phone is on silent in the other room.
The highlight of your career so far?
Every day when I receive a woman feeling so happy with the changes that she experiences in her love life is a highlight for me, but my most recent one was the news of an engagement of a client. When she first came to me, she was 38 and she had never been in a long-term relationship. After 9 months of working with me, she’s now engaged to a man who is absolutely crazy about her and he’s everything that she’s been dreaming of since she was a little girl. Maintaining client happiness is the highlight of my career.
What gives you ultimate career satisfaction?
Whoops, I guess I just answered that. It’s when my clients tell me they have attracted a man who makes them feel happy, adored, and joyful.
What challenges have you seen to have been presented during the growth of your business?
Being a team leader. Being a recovering nice girl I have to work really hard on my mindset to set expectations, deadlines, and if something isn’t up to my standards to say to my team in a loving way, that it needs modifications. Becoming a boss lady was my number one challenge.
Which other leading entrepreneurs and pioneering game changers do you also admire and why?
I admire my coach and mentor Gina DeVee, working with her has changed my entire life. I love how unapologetic she is about who she is and working with her allows me to feel unapologetic about who I am and what I want in my life. I also feel inspired by women like Lori Harder, Gabby Bernstein, Alexi Panos who have demonstrated what’s really possible for us as women.
What is a good article or book you have read recently?
‘Girl Wash Your Face’ by Rachel Hollis.
Top 3 go-to Podcast channels?
- Lori Harder’s ‘Earn Your Happy’
- Lisa Bilyeu’s ‘Women of Impact’
- Kathrin Zenikina’s ‘Manifestaiton Babe’
How do you measure your own terms of success?
That’s a tough one. The days that I feel really accomplished are when I complete my tasks with a sense of ease and joy. When I don’t have to push through and I guess you can say I’m anchored in my feminine energy and I flow through my day. When I’m in that state, I feel really present and I find myself being able to really serve my clients by asking them questions that come from my intuition. I think you can say I measure my success based on how light my energy is.
What does #BEYOUROWN mean to you?
To me, it means to be your own beautiful badass self. Unapologetic. Raw. Real. Don’t be the Shahrzad who tried to be someone that men (or other people) would like, be the best version of yourself and the right man and the right people would love you for it. When you are your own unique self in the business, the right clients will also flow to you naturally. Your success becomes inevitable.
Lastly, what is next for you?
Launching my group coaching program ‘From Single to Fully Adored’ which is a 4-month course where I take women through the whole journey teaching them all the tools and techniques that I applied in my life to attract and marry my husband. The women in the course can also sign up for a VIP package which means a 5-day luxury with me and 9 other women in Cabo.
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