#BEYOUROWN MEETS MADDY APPLIN
Maddy Applin – coach, entrepreneur and world traveller – is the founder of The Empowered Goddess: a community designed to inspire and develop women with the skills, tools, and mindset needed to find, get and keep lasting love. Her programs and teachings have helped hundreds of clients in over a dozen different countries. The mentor to millionaires, Hollywood actors, and Grammy award winning artists – her true mission is to eradicate divorce in a world where it’s become the norm.
Welcome Maddy, thank you for coming on board with us, can you introduce yourself to us?
Of course, thank you for having me! My name is Maddy Applin, I’m the founder of The Empowered Goddess and I help successful women find lasting love.
Can you talk us through the path you have paved to where you are now as the founder of The Empowered Goddess and what was the concept behind launching?
Yes absolutely! So for the longest time, I found myself wanting to help people – whether that was physically, emotionally or overall wellness. That led me down the path of learning different ways I could best help people and discovering what my real mission and purpose was in this life. I began with nursing and ended up working as a nurse for about 6 years, but as I started to learn more about the conventional medical system, I saw a lot of the problems that were preventing me from helping people in the way that I truly wanted to. So I decided to move onto exploring preventative, holistic medicine and spent 4 years studying Chinese Medicine and integrative nutrition. One thing that really stood out to me with these modalities, was that so much of what people were struggling with physically – and not just physically related to their health, but also related to their careers, relationships and overall fulfillment – always came back to emotional and mental health. So I spent the next 3 years delving as deep as I possibly could into personal development, psychosomatic techniques, and emotional healing and trauma. It was during this time when I really got in tune with my inner self and my true mission in this world – which is to re-ignite the light, love, and passion that so many people have lost.
This is very close to my heart because it’s something I witnessed when my parents got divorced. I saw 2 people who loved each other deeply and are 2 of the most amazing people in the world, end up being unable to figure out how to make their marriage work because they lacked the tools, skills and the resources to create and sustain long term love & passion. So this was something that not only tore them apart, but it tore my family apart and is inflicting the same pain on families worldwide.
Really, it’s terrifying to think that almost 50% of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation, and these rates only drastically increase for second and third marriages. The worst part about this is that I truly do believe divorce is preventable. That if done properly, you can absolutely keep an amazing partnership for life and create a love that only grows stronger. The problem is, most people don’t have the tools, skills or resources to know how to actually prevent divorce. Instead, they’re just betting their odds that they stay together and it all works out long term – and clearly, the odds aren’t that great!
That’s when I founded The Empowered Goddess. To help women find, get and keep lasting love, the right way. Because in the modern world it’s more complicated than ever, and it’s leading people to take microwave solutions that aren’t getting them the lasting love they’re truly looking for.
Can you tell us how you have mastered the art of radical relationships and lasting love?
That’s a great question! So as I was digging into my own personal development, I realised that I had completely shut down emotionally after my parent’s divorce, and because of that I was either attracting men who were also emotionally unavailable and eventually I wasn’t attracting any men at all.
Even though I’d done a tonne of work on myself, I hadn’t gotten to the root of these patterns or the root of my pain. So this really impacted my dating and love life in many ways but the biggest one was that I hadn’t been on a single date in 5 years. I’d had random flings here and there to make myself feel better, but nothing substantial.
So it wasn’t until I really started to do the deep, inner work that needed to be done in order to become the person that I needed to become, that I went from literally having zero dates in 5 years, to being asked out on 5 dates with amazing men in 1 week. Now, none of these men ended up being the man of my dreams, but I’d shifted massively within myself and was really ready to create love. So I made a commitment to myself to get out of my comfort zone and find love before the end of 2017. I had about 60 days until the end of the year and I was determined to end it with the man of my dreams. People told me I was crazy. That you can’t force love. That the right person will come along when the time is right… I told them I was sick of waiting. Because deep down I knew that if I wanted the kind of love that I had always dreamed of… it wasn’t going to just fall into my lap, I had to do be the one who created it. I may not be able to force love, but I can do everything in my power to make it possible.
Fast forward 2 months later… 2 days before New Years. I was on a plane, flying over to the US to meet the man of my dreams. We’ve now been dating now for nearly 2 years, living together for 8 months and are planning our future family together.
So really, mastering the art of radical relationships and lasting love took doing the deep introspective work on myself first. It took facing my own fears, getting out of my comfort zone and a willingness to do the things that most people aren’t.
What is your most favoured aspect of what you do at The Empowered Goddess?
I would have to say it never ceases to amaze me how quickly we can heal when we have the right tools. I wish it wasn’t true, but I work with an incredibly large number of women who’ve been through serious pain in their past – whether that be trauma, abuse or hurt from past relationships – and it’s not only stopping them from attracting deep, connected love, but it’s also affecting their careers, relationships, health, and all-around wellbeing. So being able to facilitate deep, inner healing with women is always incredibly rewarding for me. Because I truly believe healing starts within – it starts with doing the deep, difficult work that isn’t always fun, but it 100% necessary.
Can you give us 3 useful tips that we can apply when looking to attract the right man into our life?
- Heal your heart. Let’s be honest, we’ve all been hurt in the past. Some more so than others, but we’ve all been hurt. Even though we may think we’ve moved on, what I’ve found is that about 98% of people haven’t properly healed the root cause. And unlike what most people think, time does not heal all wounds. Many women struggle to open themselves up and deeply trust again because they’ve never actually healed. So they either say single (not for a lack of trying!), or end up in relationships with men who don’t treat them the way they deserve, or stay stuck in a cycle of attracting men who are “low value” compared to what they’re looking for. While time might allow you to shove those wounds further under the rug and ignore them, they’re still there and they’re controlling your actions and the men you’re attracting. So it’s absolutely critical that you heal your heart first.
- Take the right actions. Most women aren’t taking the right actions. They might be taking actions like going on a million and one dates, or working out, or “finding themselves” by travelling the world. But these are all just bandaids to a deeper problem. (They’re great bandaids, don’t get me wrong… I love travelling. But a lot of people are using it as an escape). The actions I’m talking about are Learning how to understand men, so you know exactly what they’re looking for, and how to get them to commit. Learning how to communicate with men so you know how to get what you want in love and the things you might be doing that push great men away. Properly overcoming your past hurt, trauma & fears, so you aren’t subconsciously sabotaging a great relationship now. These are all things we have to focus on heavily the Empowered Goddess program, because this kind of transformation doesn’t just happen by reading a book or going on a holiday to Europe (although I SO wish it did!).
- Accountability. Way too often we’d rather stay in a hell that we know than take a chance at the heaven that we don’t know. Have you ever found yourself getting back with your ex, even though you know you could do better, but it’s comfortable to be with him? Or you’ve stayed in a shitty relationship out of fear of being single again and not finding anyone else? Or you’ve been single for several years, but aren’t in a rush because it’s “comfortable” … I know I have. Why? Because it’s less risky. So how do you make sure you go for what you truly want, even if it is scary? Accountability. You cannot read the label from the inside of the bottle. You must have someone to help you find your blindspots, give you feedback… Someone who sees you bigger than you currently see yourself. So you can step into your greatness, and become the Empowered Goddess you truly are, so you can experience the love you truly deserve.
How are you working towards your own personal development?
Honestly, I’m always working through my own personal development. It’s something that has completely changed my life and is something that I will forever invest in so that I can continuously improve and grow. I have several coaches of my own as I believe you need accountability and outside eyes to continue to spot those blind spots.
If I were to pick one thing I’m working on most right now though, it would be creating more space for myself so that I can show up even better for everyone else in my life – including my clients. I used to have a belief that taking time off, meant I was lazy and wouldn’t be successful (crazy the stories we tell ourselves sometimes!). So you can imagine how that panned out – working long hours, stressed, hormone issues and feeling completely overwhelmed.
Being a business owner, it can be easy to work 24/7 as there are constantly things you can be working on. But it was important for me to recognise that belief doesn’t serve me or anyone else and that I cannot pour from an empty cup. So this has been something I’ve been working hard on shifting as it doesn’t come naturally to me. But it’s vital not just as a business owner, a leader, a coach, a family member, etc. but also in my relationship to be that radiant, feminine energy.
Number one rule in business you stick by?
People who pay, pay attention. I know this sounds harsh, but I’ve worked with women for free before and every time I have, they don’t get results. The reason being is that they’re not committed, they don’t take the actions they need to and they don’t implement the coaching thoroughly.
Because honestly, overcoming your past hurt, taking a deep look at what you’re doing wrong and becoming the person you need to become in order to attract an amazing man, is uncomfortable and it’s hard. And no one wants to face it, which is why so many people are left stuck, frustrated and lonely.
What I’ve found is that when people commit, they’re also held accountable emotionally, financially and energetically and because of that they get out of their comfort zone, they do the difficult work that isn’t always fun but is 100% necessary, and they get drastic results.
What are your preferred marketing methods for The Empowered Goddess?
Preferred for me will always be organic & intimate. Because really, in such a connected world, we’re more disconnected than ever. So what I’ve found is that true relationship building and intimacy is critical. My boyfriend (and also one of my business coaches), Zander Fryer says “Intimacy beats authority every day of the week” and I just love this. I’ve found that you really can’t beat authenticity when you connect with someone intimately – whether that be in person or over DM.
What does #BEYOUROWN mean to you?
As I mentioned above, one of the core principles that I teach is committing to yourself first. So to me, #BEYOUROWN really conveys a similar principle to committing to yourself first. It means embracing all aspects of yourself, while also taking responsibility for the personal work that you need to do, and committing to constantly grow and be the best version of yourself.
Where are you looking to expand to next throughout 2019?
Ooo I love this question! I’d say the two main areas for me would be personally and within my business. I’m always looking to expand myself – as a leader, mentor & coach, and of course within my relationships. I truly do believe that my personal growth must always come first, because the more I grow, the more I’m able to impact and influence others. Then business-wise, I’m really looking to continue to grow my Empowered Goddess community and team, and the impact we’re having across the world.
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/Maddy-Applin