Dr. Menije Boduryan-Turner of Embracing You Therapy is a leading expert on overcoming perfectionism and building an authentic life. When she works with her clients individually or as couples, the goal is to turn the judgment to compassion and the pain into purpose. We all create narratives about our lives, giving meaning to what we have been through and what is currently happening.
Therapy with Dr. Menije is to uncover these stories you have been telling yourself so that you are judgment-free. Dr. Menije knows that her clients are completely capable of busting out of their comfort zone, taking ownership of their dreams, and creating a new sense of self.
Her unique approach is evidence-based and solution-focused to help her clients break free from the vicious cycle of anxiety and judgment and instead build a true sense of trust in themselves.
Great to have you Dr. Menije, can you introduce yourself to us?
Thank you for having me here! I am excited to introduce myself to the readers of Be Your Own! I am a licensed psychologist in private practice in Los Angeles, CA. I received my bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of California, San Diego Angeles, and furthered my education with a master’s degree in psychology from Pepperdine’s University and a doctoral degree in clinical psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology.
I was born and raised in Istanbul, Turkey, and moved to Los Angeles with my family in 1999. I live with my husband and our 2-year-old daughter. While raising a toddler can take up all of my time, I value the time I get to spend on my self-care, which include spending time with family and friends, yoga and meditations, as well as listening to podcasts.
Can you tell us about you how and why you launched Embracing You Therapy?
Embracing You Therapy has one core foundation, which is that each one of us deserves to believe in ourselves! Sometimes we get so caught up in proving ourselves to others that we forget how much strength we have inside. And it often feels like our worth depends on our accomplishments and what other people think of us rather than what we know to be true. When this happens, you can judge yourself according to external standards instead of relying on your intuition to guide the way. This doesn’t mean you can’t start treating your self with kindness, it simply means you need to change the story you tell yourself so you can reconnect with your authentic wisdom. Embracing You Therapy was built to help you stop doubting yourself, tap into your power, and take the risk to open up to new possibilities. While I have been providing therapy since 2012, Embracing You Therapy had its renovations and launched in the summer of 2019.
What 3 methods do you use to measure the success that your clients benefit from after working with you?
Therapy with me is the place to change your patterns and strengthen your self-confidence. Together, we will examine the dance between your past and your present, so you can gain insight into your beliefs being perfect. Then we will practice tools to help you respond to life in a healthier way. I use Solution-Focused approaches in session so you can go from feeling stuck and hopeless to knowing you have the power within you to make a change. I help clients recognise their emotions and then do something with them so that they realise what healthy reactions are and feel more in control. I provide individualised therapy, so you will feel as if your personal stories are heard and that you can be confident therapy will work for you.
Therapy is most effective when it is individualised to your specific needs, challenges, and strengths. Once I get to know my clients during the first few sessions, we create a plan to identify the goals for therapy. Most often people don’t have all the answers, and that’s OK. But in the early stages of therapy, it is helpful to create a road map that can guide the direction. It’s about having a vision of where you want to be at the end of your therapy. Periodically, we review these goals to assess how far you have come and any changes you like to make.
The effectiveness of therapy also relies heavily on how you spend your time in between sessions. Therapy sessions can be incredibly enlightening, personal, and powerful. Most often, my clients uncover and connect intimate and vulnerable thoughts and feelings. While this is the foundation of therapy, the real “success” happens outside of therapy where you approach people and situations differently based on the discoveries you made during your session.
What is a typical assessment process you go through when selecting which clients to work with for OCD, Personal Growth or Addiction Recovery therapy with you?
The therapy process starts with a Free 20-minute consultation. You will have the opportunity to elaborate on your current experiences that you wish to address in therapy. You will also learn more about my approach to therapy and cost.
During the first 2 to 3 sessions, we will have the intake process where we gather all the information we need to create a strong and accurate plan for you. The comprehensive intake evaluation will help us uncover the underlying factors that get in the way from you being your best version. We will also explore other components that may influence the treatment outcome. This process is necessary to tailor a successful treatment plan for your individual needs.
On-going sessions are designed to deepen your relationship with yourself and others. The goal of therapy is not to remove all obstacles and guarantee no future mistakes or regrets, but to give you the tools and insight that will help you manoeuvre what life has in store for you. You will find the peace and strength to go through life with all of its ups and downs and know that you can handle it.
I utilise Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), which are both evidence-based treatment for life stressors. Each of these modalities has unique qualities and focus while complimentary for an effective outcome. When working with people who suffer from OCD, my approach is specifically Exposure Response Prevention (ERP). You don’t have to wait for a reason or a crisis to seek therapy for your needs. We all have mental health, and it is just as important as our physical health.
Who is the most influential female powerhouse that you admire and why?
Oh, that’s easy! It is one and only Dr. Brene Brown! I fell in love with her work after reading her book titled Gifts of Imperfection. I probably recommended that book to everyone I know personally and professionally. The book taught me so much about what it means to let go of shame and perfectionism and embracing who we are. For me, she is the founding mother of I am-good-enough movement.
Over the past few years, she has expanded and modelled the definition of vulnerability and what it means to embrace yourself as you are. We all experience mistakes in life, but finding a way to not get sucked into shame and know that we are good enough and worthy in the presence of our imperfections, has been truly life-changing.
How are you working on your own personal development and are you looking to study or go through any more training/workshops to extend your knowledge on further topics?
Working on my personal development is a daily practice for me. I am a big believer in routines, specifically the way you start your day and the way you end your day. I was recently listening to Arianna Huffington and I loved her advice on how to start and end your day without your phone.
So every day, I make sure to not reach for my phone the first 30-minutes upon awakening, and every night, I make sure that the last 30-minutes are spent either meditating or reading a book. Another key component of my routine is my self-reflection. I have to be mindful of my intentions for the day and end my day with gratitude for showing up and for my efforts no matter how things turned out. As many other professionals seek help from their colleagues, therapists also seek therapy. I am proud to say that attending therapy has been one of the most essential parts of my personal development throughout my career. I also can’t stop learning. A few months ago, I attended training in Seattle that focused on the treatment of OCD. In October, I will be attending a conference here in Los Angeles called Therapy Reimagined.
This will be my first time attending this conference but I am excited to hear about all the ways we can expand therapy to meet the specific needs of our ever-changing lives and culture.
What does #BEYOUROWN mean to you?
#BEYOUROWN means authenticity and confidence. I am genuinely passionate about self-acceptance and being authentic. Once you commit to embracing yourself as you are, then it is only natural to show your true self wherever you go. To be authentic, you must first accept and love yourself as you are with all the strengths and weaknesses, but then you must also be vulnerable by letting others in. Authenticity feeds confidence. You can’t have one without the other.
Confidence is more than just knowing you are good enough. Confidence is also knowing that whatever life throws at you, you can handle it. It is the sense of trusting yourself. Therefore #beyourown is about embracing who you are, letting others see it, and being confident in it.
In which areas are you looking to grow and expand Embracing You Therapy within the next 3-5 years?
I am excited to share that I just launched my YouTube Channel, which is the name of my practice, Embracing You Therapy. I can’t wait to connect with others around the world on such a large platform. For 2020, I am planning to launch an E-course that will support anyone in their journey of embracing themselves. The course will be educational but challenging to turn your attention inward and sort out the thoughts, feelings, and barriers that are keeping you stuck.
One of my favourite quotes says, “get out of your own way.” So this e-course will cover all the tools you need to build resilience. In the next 3-5 years, the most important goal for Embracing You Therapy is to connect and grow a community where self-love and self-acceptance is a second-nature. We all have mental health, and it is just as important as our physical health.
So I hope Embracing You Therapy community will become a safe place for people to join and connect where they can openly share their mental health journeys and strengthen the power within them to know, You are worthy, and You are good enough!
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