Most female CEOs spend their time on the treadmill of life, constantly busy, juggling the pressures and demands of work, family and community. They occasionally look over the horizon, eagerly awaiting their next holiday, weekend or other opportunity to rest and relax. Some tell themselves they will rest when they’ve completed X project or reached Y milestone. There’s a pervasive sense that rest is something they need to earn. For others, rest feels unattainable; they assume that if they pause, the list will keep growing and they will never claw their way out.
Yet, when they finally create an opportunity to rest, many find they can’t do it. They might be lying on the couch reading a book, but their minds are ruminating over last week’s events, or the decisions left open. They might be playing with their children, going through the motions, but mentally planning their next project or compulsively checking emails.
So, what’s the solution?
There isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer. Every leader’s experience of rest is personal. However, there are deeper, transformative approaches beyond simply turning off your phone and willing yourself to read a book. Here are a few considerations by Astrid Korin, Founder, Astrid Korin Coaching.
Examine (and challenge) the beliefs and stories that drive you
What subconscious stories shape your sense of self-worth and identity, making it difficult for you to feel worthy of rest? These could include beliefs like:
- “If I’m not working, I’m falling behind.”
- “My value is my productivity.”
- “Rest is indulgent.”
- “If I stop, everything will fall apart.”
- “My business cannot cope without me.”
Recognise these narratives and how they might be fuelling your busyness. That’s step one.
Rewrite your stories and practice them
Once you’ve identified unhelpful, typically unfounded beliefs, rewrite them with a more accurate and supportive narrative. For example:
Old Story: “I have to do it, or I’ll let everyone down.”
New Story: “Prioritising my wellbeing allows me to show up more effectively for others.”
When you feel the pull into busyness or resistance to rest, pause and be curious. Notice the pattern, query the inner voice and intentionally lean into your new story. Over time, little by little, this rewiring creates a more sustainable approach to work and life.
Find your places of refuge and get clear on your intentions
Identify the practices, people, and places that truly replenish you.
Consider:
- Activities that ground you: yoga, walking, journaling, or meditation.
- People who inspire and support you without judgment.
- Physical spaces where you feel safe and at peace.
Set intentions for these moments of refuge. For example:
- “What is my deepest intention for this time with my family?”
- “How will I know if I’m drifting away from what’s important to me?”
- “Would this be a great way to spend my final day on earth if it was?”
Intentionality anchors you in the present and aligns actions with your values. If staying connected to work is necessary, define clear boundaries around when and how you will engage.
Practice presence in everything you do
Rest is not about escaping life but being fully present in it. Whether you’re at work, on vacation, or spending time with loved ones, cultivate mindfulness. Notice your surroundings, your emotions, and your thoughts without judgment. Even the most beautiful setting will not rejuvenate you if you’re mentally stuck ruminating about the past or catastrophising about the future. Presence allows you to fully experience and appreciate the moment, reaping the true benefits of your actions.
Difficult emotions like guilt, fear, or inadequacy often surface when we try to rest. We may even feel drawn back into the busyness to avoid them. Instead, try to acknowledge and explore them with curiosity. What are they trying to tell you? What unmet needs or unresolved issues do they reveal? By leaning into these emotions, you reduce their hold over you and create space for growth and healing.
Cultivate self-compassion
Self-compassion is one of the most powerful tools for giving yourself permission to rest and heal. Research shows self-compassion reduces stress and enhances wellbeing, empowering you to rest without guilt.
When you treat yourself with the kindness you deserve, wonderful things start to happen. You recharge, your return to work energetic and empowered, you lead with more clarity, empathy rises and you are more decisive. All of these are essential qualities as a CEO.
Rest isn’t a luxury; it’s essential for personal and professional success. Your business needs you to be at peak performance and that’s only possible by looking after yourself. More than holidays or exercise, it requires introspection, challenging beliefs, intentionality, and practice. When CEOs embrace rest as a priority, they show up better for themselves and their businesses. Your company, teams and future self will thank you.
