There is a long-standing idea that the best leaders are the ones who dedicate themselves fully to the job. Startup culture and the idea of the heroic founder that we see on social media, TV and films have further romanticised this. But this image is out of date.
People are more than just their jobs. The reality of life is that most of us are also partners, friends, parents, pet owners, caregivers, part of our local community, and more.
Work can be an important part of our lives, but it’s unlikely to be the only thing in it, the only priority, the only pull on our time and mental resources. Yet for leaders, the noise generated by the demands of our business can be deafening and can at times seem to drown out everything else.
So how do we balance everything? How can we be good leaders, but also present in the other parts of our lives and decide what to do ourselves or what to delegate?
The first step as a CEO is to think about: What has to sit with me? What can only I do?
As a business leader, there will always be certain responsibilities and elements of your role that only you can do, or only you are good at. For example, for me at Sell Beyond, it’s setting strategy, identifying risk and opportunity, and shaping direction. I have surrounded myself with a brilliant team that is exceptional at executing the day-to-day deliverables of our business, which don’t have to sit with me. Our clients love working with the team across their training, Amazon strategy development, planning and marketing needs because they value their expertise and attention and the results our collaboration brings to their bottom line.
At the same time, I love hearing and talking about different people’s stories. So when I decided to launch my podcast, Tell Beyond, I knew it had to be me hosting and interviewing people who made almost unbelievable career changes. If there ever was a moment where I couldn’t be the host, I would have to make the decision: should we continue?
Outside of work, once again, you need to honestly ask yourself: What am I good at, and what do I enjoy doing? I’ve learnt that there’s no shame in organising my time around this principle.
For example, setting time aside to do DIY or cooking might not be your thing, whereas walking the dog provides time to clear your head and focus for the day. You could outsource this task to a professional dog walking company or doggy daycare service, but it might actually be something you need in your day.
Not all the decisions we make around prioritisation are driven by logic. Some are driven by love. What does our heart or soul need? When it comes to caregiving, whether that’s for family, friends, pets or our communities, decisions are generally more often emotionally driven. That’s being human.
When my mum first became unwell, there were lots of things I felt I should do as her daughter to help and be there for her. It took a long time for me to step back and identify the difference between ‘I should do it’, ‘I can do it’ and ‘only I am uniquely placed to do this’. This distinction became an important part of how I made decisions, both personally and professionally.
When it comes to caring for people who are unwell, in my experience, one of the first things that often changes very quickly is your relationship with them. You go from being their daughter (in my instance) to their carer and housekeeper. This shift can happen to anyone, regardless of gender or role.
When I felt like I was being pulled in too many directions, I thought about where I was uniquely placed to help, vs what I felt I should be doing. Only I could make her favourite dish in the way she likes, or could sit and have a cup of tea and read her favourite poetry to her. Only one of my brothers could do the gardening in the way she likes it to be done. The other things – the shopping, changing her bedsheets, doing the laundry – could be outsourced. They needed to be done, but they didn’t need to be done by me.
It took a long time for me to change my thinking. To stop trying to do everything I felt I should be doing and instead think about what only I was uniquely placed to do. I believe this mindset shift has made me a better leader. Teams respond better to leaders who give people the space and trust to do their jobs well, and who can identify where team members are uniquely placed to do their best and happiest work. As a result, our clients have access to people who love what they do and do it really well, making for more fulfilled, less stressed people, with better working relationships, achieving outcomes we’re all really proud of.
