Top 5 Tips For Fostering Emotional Intelligence In Your Children, By Pentagon Play

As identified by Psychology Today, Emotional Intelligence is defined as ‘the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others.’.

Here, Pentagon Play have compiled their top 5 tips for fostering and encouraging emotional intelligence in your children.

Tip 1: Talk about your feelings regularly

In order to help children understand their own feelings, and others, transparency is key.

It’s a great idea for adults to explain to children when something happens how they are feeling, and why they are feeling that way.

If they’re upset about something, sitting down with their child, and explaining what has made them feel this way, and how it has affected them will help to normalise emotions, and make these conversations a part of daily life.

Instilling this as part of their routine will facilitate regular conversations about feelings, ensuring they know how to talk about situations, and can have open communication with a range of people as they become more confident in sharing.

This will also help children in understanding and processing how other people feel, and may act, due to their emotions.

Tip 2: Teach them regulation activities

One of the core elements of emotional intelligence is being able to regulate emotions and keep calm in high-intensity situations.

A great method is the 5,4,3,2,1 method for grounding.

Ask children to name:

  • 5 things they can see
  • 4 things they can feel
  • 3 things they can hear
  • 2 things they can smell
  • 1 thing they can taste

If children can implement this grounding technique when they’re feeling overwhelmed, they will be able to handle situations more confidently and competently.

Tip 3: Healthy means of expression

Expressing emotions is a natural part of life, so encouraging children to find a healthy way of doing this is essential.

Both art and music can be great for encouraging children to express their emotions.

Can they draw or paint a picture that represents how they feel?

Can they play a beat on this drum to relieve their frustration?

Giving children an outlet for their emotions allows them the space to process situations in a more pragmatic way and understand why they were feeling the way they were.

Tip 4: Make it fun

Talking about emotions can often feel heavy and serious, something that most children will often associate with being boring.

By making talking about feelings into a game, adults can change the tone to light-hearted and can engage their interest for longer.

A great activity for this, especially for younger children, is to sit down in front of a mirror with them.

Ask them to make the faces for different emotions: sad, happy, angry, surprised, etc.

Adults can then talk about other ways people may represent those emotions, and how they can identify them.

Children will love making themselves laugh by pulling funny faces in the mirror, and therefore, will be more inclined to take the information onboard and process it internally.

This will then help children become more emotionally aware and empathetic towards their peers.

Making it into a fun game keeps a serious topic light and engaging for young people.

Tip 5: Try to avoid negativity around emotions

Try not to negatively label emotions or treat them as something unnatural.

Telling a child to stop being a ‘wuss’ or calling them a ‘scaredy cat’ when they’re scared or unsure of something may bring about negative connotations of feeling afraid, despite the fact that it’s a perfectly natural and understandable feeling, especially for children.

Even if adults don’t think they’re doing it to their children, they may be doing it to themselves by telling themselves to ‘grow up’ or ‘stop feeling like this’, and little ears may be listening.

Feelings are a natural part of life, and every person feels a range of emotions every single day — nurture them, don’t banish them.

By following these 5 simple tips, adults can support their child’s emotional intelligence and set them on the path for a healthy and happy future.