Being an entrepreneur can be amazing, exciting and fulfilling, but it can also be lonely, pressure-filled and stressful – sometimes it’s both of these things at once. One of the key components to surviving and thriving as an entrepreneur is continuing to maintain your personal relationships. In fact, having emotionally supportive connections is critical not just to your happiness, but also to your ultimate success and to avoiding burnout.
When you think of a Happiness Coach you may not envision someone who has had a high-flying career as a lawyer in corporate America. Meet Becky Morrison – a Lawyer turned Happiness Coach turned best-selling Author – who’s here to show you that you can be a straight talking traditionally successful woman whilst meeting your happiest self. Becky is on a mission to help other unhappy high achievers untangle their lives and discover what ingredients make a recipe for their happiness! Here are five tips for doing just that by Becky.
Have the conversation
Relationships are a two-way street. To decide how and when you need to invest in your relationships you need to know the answer to two questions:
What do I need for this relationship to thrive?
What does the other person need for this relationship to thrive?
When you operate without the answers to these two questions the net result is usually some combination of guilt and/or resentment. For example, you resent the effort that you’re putting in that doesn’t seem appreciated, or you feel guilty for not doing or showing up the way you believe that you “should.”
If you have the conversation, first with yourself and then with the other person, you can determine what might need to shift or change to sustain the relationship in a way that is satisfying for both of you.
Create space
You might be thinking: Space?!?! What space? I’m swamped. Regardless of how busy you are there is space to be found. The quickest space creator? Say no – subtract something from your plate, right now. And then use that space to connect with someone who matters to you. Aren’t sure where to start?
Make a quick list of what’s taking your time and energy right now.
Circle anything that isn’t directly serving your top priority.
Then decide: Which of those things can you let go of (say no, delegate, delay)?
Schedule it (and make it non-negotiable)
If you value a relationship – any relationship – schedule some regular non-negotiable time to devote to that relationship. The frequency and size can vary. For example, it could be 10 minutes over coffee, an end of day drink to connect or a full day every month. In those moments of connection consider going beyond the basic “how are you-s” and to-dos and ask questions that get to what’s really going on in your lives. Here’s a couple ideas to get you started:
- What’s challenging for you right now?
- What are you celebrating or looking forward to?
- What’s have you learned recently?
- What surprised you recently?
- What made you smile today?
Find “work friends”
Purely personal relationships are important, but work relationships matter, too. If you don’t have a team or don’t feel comfortable developing professional relationships with them, find some people who can be your “co-workers.” These could be other entrepreneurs in similar types or stages of business – people who can support you professionally but also who can support you emotionally. These are people who understand what it’s like to be an entrepreneur and who can relate to what you’re trying to accomplish and what you might be feeling. These “co-workers” are just as important as “personal friends” to your success and happiness.
Use connection to fuel happiness
When you are connecting be intentional about really enjoying the moment. When that connection creates a positive emotion, savor it. Why? Because positive emotions have benefits that go beyond feeling good. In the near term, they broaden your perspectives making you more creative problem-solvers and enabling you to see the big picture. In the long term, they deepen your reserves of resilience, providing the emotional fuel to weather the tough times. For extra credit, you can throw in a dash of gratitude to amplify the positive emotional impact and deepen your connection.
To be a thriving entrepreneur you need supportive relationships. Don’t be fooled into thinking, however, that this is hard to achieve or excessively time-consuming. It simply takes courageous communication and intention. If you can get clear on what each relationship needs and make just a little bit of space, you can go from neglecting your relationships to investing in them.
