Introverts often face unique challenges in social situations, where the pressure to engage and interact can feel overwhelming. From networking events to crowded parties, navigating these tricky scenarios requires a combination of self-awareness, preparation, and effective communication skills. Here are some strategies to help introverts thrive in social settings.
Pretend
Before any social engagement, introverts can allocate time to visualise potential interactions, imagining successful outcomes. By mentally ‘pretending’ they have had positive experiences, confidence can grow, paving the way for future success. Introverts should set aside regular time to imagine a social situation that might normally be challenging, then play this out as a successful interaction. The more this activity is repeated, the better the outcome.
Prepare
Setting intentions for interactions in advance can help introverts navigate social situations more effectively. Whether it’s the intention to initiate conversation with new acquaintances or allocating specific timeframes for socialising, planning ahead can alleviate anxiety and enhance comfort levels.
Individuals may also prepare the logistics of where they are going, the parking, what outfit might be worn and anything that will be needed at the social occasion.
Preparing in advance can help to make things feel more predictable and allow room for the introvert to feel a sense of control.
Practice
Practising possible conversations out loud can boost confidence and readiness for social interactions. This could be done with a trusted friend or alone and just like visualisation, these practised conversations allow the brain to believe that these conversations have already occurred before and thus can be replicated.
Having prewritten conversation starters or questions can be a great starting point, whilst the introvert is still learning how to swim in social situations and although these should not be on show at the event, practicing with these ahead of time can boost confidence when it comes to the real deal.
Additionally, becoming familiar with the journey to and from a venue with a practice run can provide a sense of security and preparedness.
People
Recognising that others are likely preoccupied with their own experiences can alleviate pressure on introverts in social settings. Preparing conversation starters and allowing oneself breaks when feeling overwhelmed can facilitate smoother interactions.
It’s helpful for introverts to remember that a conversation is not a monologue, and the expectation is not on the introverted person to drive every conversation.
Use the A.R.E technique to help with conversations
A.R.E Stands for Anchor, Reveal, Encourage.
Anchor. An anchor is an observation of a shared reality. The place, the time of year that it is, the weather or perhaps the event itself.
Reveal. The reveal is where something is said about the anchor ‘what a gorgeous venue this is’, ‘I can’t believe how lucky they have been with the weather today’.
Encourage. The final step is to encourage. This means asking a question based on the anchor or reveal, ‘How do you know the couple?’ ‘Did you travel far to be here?’.
Having a supportive friend, ally or ‘wing person’ aware of the introverted tendencies can also offer reassurance and assistance during social gatherings.
Pause
After socialising, introverts should take time to decompress and reflect on their experiences. Acknowledging accomplishments and areas for improvement fosters growth and self-compassion. Recognising that social anxieties often exceed reality can provide perspective and encouragement for future interactions. It may be useful for introverts to have activities they enjoy doing alone prepared for after having socialise, so they can enjoy retreating into this sanctuary straight afterwards.
It’s also important for introverts to allow and accept the full nature of their introversion without judgement. Introversion can be an extremely positive trait and when the introverted person is able to embrace this part of who they are, the correct scaffolding of support can be created around areas of challenge.
By implementing these strategies and practicing self-compassion, introverts can navigate social situations with greater ease and confidence, embracing opportunities for personal growth and connection.
Holly Matthews, 39, is a former actress (Waterloo Road, Casualty & Byker Grove) and singer (Sony Music) and a widowed mum-of-two. She’s now a qualified self-development coach and founder of the platform The Happy Me Project, looking to help women build their confidence. Holly is the author of a best-selling Bloomsbury book, and her TedTalk has been watched by half-a-million people. She’s appeared on Lorraine, BBC, ITV and in national press.
