It’s that time of year when many still feel obliged to set ‘resolutions’ for the coming year. However, doing this may actually be hindering success not helping it. Setting resolutions, even with the best intentions, can create unnecessary pressure in an already busy life. Plus, a pattern of setting goals and not achieving them creates a ‘failure’ mindset that pre-sabotages results.
With over 30 years in the field of behaviour change, Sarah Bolitho specialises in the creation not just of realistic goals, but in the actions needed to achieve themSo, here are 5 common pitfalls and how they can help you avoid that feeling of holding yourself back.
It’s the same goal as last year, the year before – and the year before that…
Setting the same resolution every year needs to be scrapped as it clearly isn’t working. Not only has setting the goal become a habit but so has failing to achieve it! When resolutions are repeatedly unsuccessful, it creates a subconscious expectation of failure that leads to self-sabotage from the start. So, either identify a new goal, or consider how to change it to be more realistic.
The focus is on giving up or stopping something not on gaining and growing
When resolutions focus on giving something up, it can create a mindset of deprivation and denial which is not sustainable. Focus instead on positive behaviours that can be added in small steps as this fosters a sense of achievement, boosts motivation and gradually nudges out unwanted habits.
Make the journey to a successful outcome enjoyable as it is where most of the time will be spent.
The outcome is identified, but not the why or how
Another common problem is setting a resolution, but not identifying the real why. Using weight loss as an example, it is common to set a fixed target, such as 10 kg, with no rationale behind it. Why choose 10 kg, not 9 kg or 11 kg? So dig deep for the impact that weight loss may bring such as being lighter , more energetic or improving health.
Remember to plan the how as well. There is a big difference between a vague intention to ‘eat healthily this month’ and a clear plan to ‘eat a portion of vegetables with every evening meal’. Planning small, sustainable actions and implementing them daily is more likely to lead to success.
Resolutions are either too safe or too scary
If goals are too easy or safe, there is no sense of urgency, and they are likely to get side-lined. However, if they are too big then it can be hard to visualise the end result or see progress, so motivation is lowered.
Create goals that are a realistic stretch, yet still exciting. This may mean breaking the outcome down into smaller goals, but that will make success more likely.
It’s all or nothing
When resolutions are too rigid or fixed, it becomes easier to fail than to succeed. In fact, a very fixed outcome is almost certain to fail as lapses are not accounted for and there is so much pressure it becomes a burden not a goal.
In life, circumstances change, the unexpected happens, plans go awry and as a result, a much-desired goal may get side-lined. This can lead to a sense of failure, when in reality progress towards any outcome is rarely linear so monitoring the big picture is vital. Focusing on slow progress leads to disappointment and subconscious self-sabotage can occur, perpetuating a vicious circle of failed intentions.
How to make this year different
Start afresh! Ditch old resolutions and consider the what and why of the desired outcome then design a clear plan of how it will be achieved, accounting for any variables. plan small daily and weekly steps that are positive, enjoyable, and sustainable. Be realistic about what can be achieved, and plan for potential issues in advance, thus avoiding pressure and creating a sense of achievement as you progress.
The final point is that whether you call them goals, resolutions, intentions, or outcomes, they can be changed, or ditched, if they are no longer wanted or relevant. And if resolutions feel like too much pressure, then just don’t set them!
